How to Break the Ice

 

First, you need to assess what you’re up against. If you’re headed for a job interview, you’re most likely not going to be as laid back as when you would talk about yourself in front of the orientation group you were in at Stanstead. By knowing your audience, you’ll be better prepared to start the conversation. For our sake, let’s look at approaching a fellow student you don’t speak to that often.

Once you’ve understood who you’re talking to, you now need to quickly think of two points you need to get across: an opener and a question. First, think of an opener, such as, “Good morning, how are you today?” Try to expand your vocabulary as to not use the same one every time. Then, have a question ready to ask the other person in order to get them engaged. The more it has to do with them, the better. For some weird reason, I found that the majority of people love talking about themselves. Once you’ve got them talking about themselves, it gives you more time to think of other subjects to talk about. You’ve got them right where you want them. Keep in mind, during an interview, you will talk about yourself. Do not try to get to know the interviewer by using this technique as you’ll end up confusing them and jobless.

For now, you’ve won them over. However, one false move and they’ll leave you in the dust. Once they’ve finished answering your question, you need to make them laugh. Easy ways to do so is actually to make yourself look bad, my personal favourite. For example, if you asked someone how their last class went and they tell you about how long and boring it was, counter with a reason why yours this morning was even worse and insert a funny anecdote as to why it was so bad. You do need to make sure that you don’t make yourself look too bad or else they’ll be weirded out. With practice, you’ll learn the right amount of embarrassment needed. By doing this, you’ll have made their day a little better by making them laugh.

At this point, you’ve asked them how they’re doing, which shows you care. You asked them a question that allowed them to talk about themselves, which means you’ve captured their attention. Additionally, you’ve just made them laugh, nearing the end of the process.

On to the last step. At this point, your chances are as good as ever to secure the friendship/relationship. If you’re interested in hanging out again, follow the next step. If not, wish them a good rest of day and continue on with yours. Now, if you want to continue this newly built relationship, ask them about their availability. If they reciprocate the interest (let’s be real, they most likely will), they’ll give you a time where they are not busy. Ask them if they want to join you in an activity you think you would both like. If they answer yes, you have not only secured a friendship, but also surmounted that dreadful first conversation.

Although this method is not foolproof, it’s the next closest thing to it. The more you practice it, the better it will work. You’ll have a better understanding of people’s responses, pick up on physical cues and such. In no time, you’ll actually end up enjoying speaking to people.

Being able to hold a conversation is one of the greatest skills to possess. You’ll gain the respect of many of your peers as well as your elders. Your friends’ parents will love you; your teachers will love you, and we all know the advantages of being respected by adults.

Now the ball is in your court. Use these simple steps to get that best friend you’ve always wanted. Also works for girlfriends and boyfriends. Please leave a like and subscribe and see you soon.